You Individuals Are Monsters.

An Ode to the Kim Mulkey Jacket and How the Internet Never Stops Surprising Me

The morning following the NBA Draught, I fired off a tweet that might seem familiar to some of you. I figured it would be amusing to return to the same comic ground I explored previously. I had anticipated that the majority of my audience would understand the joke. You know the drill: a player dons a garish jacket that goes viral overnight, and I tweet about it to bring back the laughter from the previous time this happened. Good times, right?
But I’ll tell you what: the Internet’s unpredictability never ceases to amaze me. Some of you, dare I say’monsters,’ actually want to see this comic routine revived for a second run. Let me clarify something for you: I was only having some lighthearted fun, a throwback if you will. Finding that legendary jacket and wearing it to a game as in the old days would be a huge hassle that I had no genuine intention of doing.

If I were genuinely considering a redo of the whole ordeal, I’d set the aim of number of likes far higher. Because, let’s be honest, I got almost 5,000 likes the previous time I did this, and that was just a joke. But 1,300 of you seem unconcerned, which is a huge surprise. You appear to be oblivious to the universal truth that sequels rarely live up to their predecessors. It’s because of people like you that the “Fast & Furious” flicks keep playing on repeat. For you, it’s no longer about the spirit of street racing; you’re just here for the adrenalized spectacle of fast vehicles and blazing explosions. You’re more intrigued in the sight of a sports blogger wearing a ridiculous jacket in a public arena than you are in the content of the tweet.

If the tweet got 5,000 likes, would I follow through? I’m sure I would. But let’s be realistic: that’s not going to happen now. Although some of you made honest attempts, the initial wave of enthusiasm has died off.

With due respect to those who took part in the like-fest, I propose we finally put an end to the lore surrounding Kim Mulkey’s iconic jacket. Forget the oppressive heat I’d have to face at a Cubs game this late in the summer (or the difficulty of acquiring Gradey Dick’s eye-catching ruby red slipper jacket). Therefore, let’s agree to put some jokes in their proper historical context, shall we?

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